Hello, and goodbye

Sorry I missed yesterday's post. I think baby V's finally dead. *whisper* I accidently dropped her last night. But it wasn't from a high place! Probably about 5 cm, or 10 :( Turned it on today but she's on showing anything on the external monitor. Maybe the wires aren't properly connected but then, I sort of lost hope. Too pressured because I have yet to finish my last part for 1 out of 3 assignments. I'm using my sister's laptop at the moment, feel like going back to the university tomorrow to finish up my work. No mood for the weekend.

No mood at all because I'm losing my mind. Like I always do when I...ah, forget it. I wasn't even doing this post whole-heartedly. I almost forgot that I'm doing this right now. Anyways, I fall real hard for nice fellas. So stop being nice to me please, cuz it's hard to get it out of my mind T__________T

p/s: if u noe what I'm talking about, especially neo, sila jauhkan diri anda daripada membocorkan apape disini, sekian :)

Too much curry, ma

Just finished my nestum chicken. Too much egg this time, I think. Well, come over to Nottingham University (Malaysia campus ok!!) and I'll belanja, but you'll pay :P

Anyways, today is a hot hot day, even at night. Maybe I should shower soon, hmmm. Today I was up, in the a.m (12 ain't a.m anymore that's why I was happy to wake up early) but 15 minutes too late for class. It's the fierce one that's teaching this time so I thought of sneaking in during break . BUT there was no break given, she finished it all in an hour and a half. I was so determined, was so gonna stop the 'all talk, no action' routine. Guess I failed. Tomorrow still got tutorial, so yeah not gonna skip that one! Next week's the final week before we're having our study break. Need to start the other 2 assignments ASAP! All talk and no play, makes me a dull one but I've been playing all semester. Time to stop procrastinating.

I'm color-deprived. Ever since, baby Vaio's screen turned white, I gotta use this external monitor. Now I can only see blue and yellow. Stalking others and looking at their pictures aint fun anymore. Their lips look either black or dark blue, very the gothic. Even little kids look that way. Color plays a major role in our life, the more the colour, the happier we are. As for me, that's why I got so blue and this cough is celebrating for me lazying around.

Of heels and shoes from the annual dinner, how I miss you :,)

I'll enjoy being a stalker after sending Vaio to the hospital next month!

Oh, I almost forgot why I wanted to make an entry today.

We know no one's perfect. Everyone changes from time to time, sometimes for better and sometimes for the worst. In the past years, even though I'm always acting like a child - it's because I'm young at heart :P For those that's still holding on to the past and not changing for their own good, I pity you. You're so stuck, you refuse to let go and let your ego takes over. I've learned from the past, and won't allow history to repeat itself. So, why are you being so bitter? Let go, let go. Karma's always a bitch.

p/s: too much curry, ma = too much karma

pp/s: someone just shouted "LET IT GO!". oh wow, maybe there's a fight out there, ngehs

Gimme a pep talk please!

One more month til its time for final exam. To tell you the truth, I'm hell yeah NOT prepared. Seriously. I think the amount of classes that I've been skipping (uh, massive headaches ok!) is far way less than last year. But why do I feel like I've learn nothing? Ok, nothing might be an exaggeration, but still, I feel...stupid T_____T Yeah, that's the word. I constantly keep asking for help and sometimes, I don't feel like asking anymore cuz I'm embarrassed to be such a fool T_____T

There's always a will, and what's the other one...uhm yeah, determination. Where's my will and determination this year? Please come back. You know I gotta achieve more than I could possibly imagine to keep the loan low (sobbb). Will, I know you're in me, somewhere. Ughhh, looks like I gotta give myself a pep talk. I need you dear Will, to go on through this journey, we gotta endure it together! Determination, help me achieve my goal! 

 

I read the Fullmetal Alchemist manga the whole day yesterday (now I've finished 101 chapters in just 2 days OMG =.=), and I got sick. Like really sick, tummy aches so badly, I think I was having diarrhea, then I feel as if there's no oxygen to breathe. I feel like fainting, passing out, dying. I've been such a lazy kid...lazy lazy kid. But I know if I'm interested in something, I'll give my all to know everything about it. Like DSLR. Not gonna aim for that this year I guess, cuz my education comes first (yeay, determination!) 

 

How to stop procrastinating? Hmmm :,(

The ghost of high school past

Notice how little I expose talk about myself here? Probably it's because that's what I always do in my previous blogs. I keep on making new ones with an aim NOT to blog too much about personal stuffs. It's tiring too read the older posts, especially when you blog about the problems you have with your friends or family. Tears keep on coming and I can hardly make it stop.

I've been such a cry baby ever since I was well, a little baby. I think I was born with extra tear ducts, that's why I tend to cry whenever I watch ANYTHING. Every stories have touching moments in them, even if they don't I'll still find it touching. Yes, emotional I am. That's the first thing you should know about me. However I hardly express my feelings to anyone. I keep them to myself, sometimes I blame myself for knowing too much of things that I shouldn't have. That's why I'm such a mess, because I care too much.

I was enrolled in an all-girls school from standard one until form five. Assunta, fyi. I didn't regret at all not being in a co-ed school. Because I am finally in a co-ed university and I think this has been the most miserable time of my life. Hearts were broken, tears were shed. Truth and confrontations hurt like hell, but that's what you have to go through in life. If you think I haven't seen the real world, well think again. What I've seen in my 20 years of life ARE real and re-living those moments will permanently damage the brain.

These girls were my confidante, my secret keepers, my everything. I love them very much and I'd do anything not to see them feeling down. I even help one of them to break up with her boyfriend, if that's what makes her happy. Back in form 3, we used to write funny letters where one of us would write a sentence and the rest would continue. Who knew it'd be such a pornographic letter. Girls those days, knew little about the word 'porn' but sigh...what to do when the tv influence was so strong.

Those moments kind of slowly stopped after form 3. We got into different classes. 2 of them were in the 1st class, I was in the 2nd class and another was in a different stream. Our hangout and talking cock moments were immediately stopped. Then school was over. We got into different places too. We've known each other since form 1, but I don't know why the bond isn't strong enough. We went on our separate ways and we keep lying to ourselves that things were as before. Because everyone knows, everyone noticed, we were not as close as last time. We would plan to hangout but that never really happen.

The girls I loved so much, cared so much. Now, I hardly know them anymore. People change as they grow up. So was the bond that we had. We didn't take the effort to cherish it, that's why sometimes those that you know in highschool won't be the friends of your life time. Distance is a bitch. Blegh! If there's a chance to get to know you again, I'd run across the sea to grab it. But that'll only happen if you would do the same. The question is, are you willing to? Can you show some initiative? I guess not, after waiting the answers for 3 bloody years. High school's long over, girls.