Young at heart

My heart is still too young,
overtime I have tortured it by acting mature.
Am I happy?
NO.
So, back to my old self,
the silly and naive self.

xoxo

How to be both man and woman

It's not wrong to fall for a nice person, just don't fall for everyone who's nice to you. Even strangers can be nice if they knew your weakness. Just because they're nice doesn't mean their intentions are always like that. Man and woman, both have brain and heart. To think logically and to feel emotions. If you're falling hard, listen to the brain. The heart might just wound your feelings. Don't be over optimistic with your emotions because love starts with falling, and ends with where you land-either on a hard ground or cloud 9. Only fools fall on cloud 9. The smart ones withdraw from the battle like a man, hit the effing hard ground and cry out loud like a little girl for the pain he/she feels. This is how we can be both man and woman. It hurts to finally realise all those feelings are just temporary but the sooner you get over it, the better it'll be.

I do fall for nice fellas. So, I can say I've fallen for most of my guy friends. Different is, I get over them easily cuz their flaws are easy to spot. Still, they're the best friends anyone could ask for :)

Too much curry, ma

Just finished my nestum chicken. Too much egg this time, I think. Well, come over to Nottingham University (Malaysia campus ok!!) and I'll belanja, but you'll pay :P

Anyways, today is a hot hot day, even at night. Maybe I should shower soon, hmmm. Today I was up, in the a.m (12 ain't a.m anymore that's why I was happy to wake up early) but 15 minutes too late for class. It's the fierce one that's teaching this time so I thought of sneaking in during break . BUT there was no break given, she finished it all in an hour and a half. I was so determined, was so gonna stop the 'all talk, no action' routine. Guess I failed. Tomorrow still got tutorial, so yeah not gonna skip that one! Next week's the final week before we're having our study break. Need to start the other 2 assignments ASAP! All talk and no play, makes me a dull one but I've been playing all semester. Time to stop procrastinating.

I'm color-deprived. Ever since, baby Vaio's screen turned white, I gotta use this external monitor. Now I can only see blue and yellow. Stalking others and looking at their pictures aint fun anymore. Their lips look either black or dark blue, very the gothic. Even little kids look that way. Color plays a major role in our life, the more the colour, the happier we are. As for me, that's why I got so blue and this cough is celebrating for me lazying around.

Of heels and shoes from the annual dinner, how I miss you :,)

I'll enjoy being a stalker after sending Vaio to the hospital next month!

Oh, I almost forgot why I wanted to make an entry today.

We know no one's perfect. Everyone changes from time to time, sometimes for better and sometimes for the worst. In the past years, even though I'm always acting like a child - it's because I'm young at heart :P For those that's still holding on to the past and not changing for their own good, I pity you. You're so stuck, you refuse to let go and let your ego takes over. I've learned from the past, and won't allow history to repeat itself. So, why are you being so bitter? Let go, let go. Karma's always a bitch.

p/s: too much curry, ma = too much karma

pp/s: someone just shouted "LET IT GO!". oh wow, maybe there's a fight out there, ngehs

The ghost of high school past

Notice how little I expose talk about myself here? Probably it's because that's what I always do in my previous blogs. I keep on making new ones with an aim NOT to blog too much about personal stuffs. It's tiring too read the older posts, especially when you blog about the problems you have with your friends or family. Tears keep on coming and I can hardly make it stop.

I've been such a cry baby ever since I was well, a little baby. I think I was born with extra tear ducts, that's why I tend to cry whenever I watch ANYTHING. Every stories have touching moments in them, even if they don't I'll still find it touching. Yes, emotional I am. That's the first thing you should know about me. However I hardly express my feelings to anyone. I keep them to myself, sometimes I blame myself for knowing too much of things that I shouldn't have. That's why I'm such a mess, because I care too much.

I was enrolled in an all-girls school from standard one until form five. Assunta, fyi. I didn't regret at all not being in a co-ed school. Because I am finally in a co-ed university and I think this has been the most miserable time of my life. Hearts were broken, tears were shed. Truth and confrontations hurt like hell, but that's what you have to go through in life. If you think I haven't seen the real world, well think again. What I've seen in my 20 years of life ARE real and re-living those moments will permanently damage the brain.

These girls were my confidante, my secret keepers, my everything. I love them very much and I'd do anything not to see them feeling down. I even help one of them to break up with her boyfriend, if that's what makes her happy. Back in form 3, we used to write funny letters where one of us would write a sentence and the rest would continue. Who knew it'd be such a pornographic letter. Girls those days, knew little about the word 'porn' but sigh...what to do when the tv influence was so strong.

Those moments kind of slowly stopped after form 3. We got into different classes. 2 of them were in the 1st class, I was in the 2nd class and another was in a different stream. Our hangout and talking cock moments were immediately stopped. Then school was over. We got into different places too. We've known each other since form 1, but I don't know why the bond isn't strong enough. We went on our separate ways and we keep lying to ourselves that things were as before. Because everyone knows, everyone noticed, we were not as close as last time. We would plan to hangout but that never really happen.

The girls I loved so much, cared so much. Now, I hardly know them anymore. People change as they grow up. So was the bond that we had. We didn't take the effort to cherish it, that's why sometimes those that you know in highschool won't be the friends of your life time. Distance is a bitch. Blegh! If there's a chance to get to know you again, I'd run across the sea to grab it. But that'll only happen if you would do the same. The question is, are you willing to? Can you show some initiative? I guess not, after waiting the answers for 3 bloody years. High school's long over, girls.

Ohai December

I have zero tolerance towards negative-minded people. I mean, for goodness sake, stop whining about yourself and if you haven't noticed, there are thousands out there wishing to be in your place. Be thankful that you're properly fed and entertained. I know that some people can feel terribly down and lost hope especially when they have a sickness that human kind have yet to discover its cure. Well, I'm out of words to share but this.

Stop complaining that we don't love you, because we most definitely do. Just that your negativity has got you blinded. It's only when you have learn to appreciate yourself, then only you can see how much we appreciate and love you. I'm can be very optimistic when I have to deal with this kind of situation and at the same time pessimistic just to remind you that life isn't a fairy tale.

Oh my, December's finally here. Sorry to have greeted you in this manner, sick and slimey.

Love: The beginning of a new life

Endless love by Glee cast. Watch Glee, the best tv series ever! Alongside with Gossip Girl :3

From our (the girls) point of view:

1. Honesty is what a good relationship needs. When you’ve just started dating, don’t cling too much on each other, give time and space so that you won’t get bored too soon.

2. Girls usually will want to ‘break up’ (yes, we love threatening you for break ups) when we’re in a fight with our partners but we don’t really mean it. We just want you to stop arguing and tell us you love us, that you’ll never let us go.

3. We love all the things you do for us, even the littlest things. We acknowledge your effort but sometimes we won’t tell you because we don’t want Mr. Big Ego to come out.

4. Never ever make us cry, because if you really love us, that’s the last thing you would want to happen.

5. Understand our condition when Mr. Moon’s paying the monthly visit. So, don’t argue, don’t ask too much questions, just don’t irritate us if you don’t want any eruption to happen.

6. Chocolates and sweet stuffs makes us happy :) Well, actually the chemicals and ingredients in them make us happy, so if you notice we’re being gloomy or quiet, buy us sweet stuffs please!

7. Girls tend to be quiet as a sign that you should pay us lots of attention. Don’t be quiet too. Cheer us up, make funny jokes, funny faces, anything!

8. You don’t have to spend so much on us, it’s already enough if you can show us your sincerity.

9. Don’t look at other girls when we’re around, hold our hands so that we know you only care about us.

10. Watch our favourite shows together, play the games we play, DON’T ever say the shows we watch are lame or boring, or the games we play are stupid. Stop being offensive and start being supportive.

So, there you have it boys. Few tips that can help you survive the 1st stage of a relationship :) Tested and proven!

p/s: There's always two sides of every story. Different people have different opinion and obviously different sex has different ways of interpreting the very definition of 'love'. Look what the guys have to say! Thanks, Eric! :)

Beauty and the Beast

So each is inevitably disappointed...says Einsten.

From experience, I'm not suitable to be the love guru or give any advise or even question anything about relationships. But what I do know is, experience is the best teacher. If you still haven't learn from your (or their) mistakes, then you've learn nothing at all. You must've been a dumdum (read: dumb). Falling in love is not just about loving each other tenderly, promising that this is forever; because you don't know the meaning of forever and you're not God. So, you don't know who you're destined to be with. Therefore, stop bullshitting your partners. Stop making promises about the future because you don't know what's gonna happen next. Let say karma's a bitch and you'll get hit by a truck tomorrow, so where's your forever now? *OMG TOUCH WOOD!*

Everyone wants to have a partner in their life but how ready are you to be commited? The long hours of crying and screaming and shouting and cursing. Are you ready for all that? Some of you have been blinded by the good side of love that you oversee this negative part. Of course, there will always be arguments in relationships. If you don't argue, then something must've been wrong with you and your partner. Ah, I've lost my point. Dammit. Oh, yea. My point is...if you want this just for fun and laughter or just to show off to others, then might as well quit it right now. What goes around, comes back around. If you play someone's heart today, you'll be played in the future. Happy endings are just for fairytales. If you've got your happy ending now, well looks like you've played your cards right.

Girls/ladies are known to be sensitive and emotional. A man is what we need in our life, not a boy. Where have all the true gentlemen run off to? Why does men like to curse and swear barbarically when they're in an argument? Ok, fine maybe not most of you.

Boys/Men...well another God's creation. And us girls still know nothing about you and your hidden agenda :(

p/s: from the point of view of a pessimist, because what we need is someone to say 'what if' and not 'you'll be fine, trust me'..cuz that's just bs :P

The fail whale

via agent-x

I've never seen the fail whale before. Simply put, I've never experience the error page of Twitter since I rarely log into the webpage. All of my twitter updates are via Echofon (was once known as TwitterFox). Aww, I pity the whale for being the symbol of failure and what's up with the hash tags? I wonder who started it first. It's abusive, seriously. And too much updates are just...annoying.

FYI, twitter is like a micro blog, that enables the users to send their updates and read others' as well. Not a chatbox, please. Ah, as long as it doesn't flood my Echofon, I don't really care. Don't you feel like unfollowing someone just because all the 100 updates that you were eager to read...was from the same person? Twitter needs to be neaten up. How? I don't know, just want it to be neater!

p/s: I've nothing against it. I love twitter with all my heart :)

,
Aezlika

Life as it is

I was chatting away with a friend when I realised the conversation starts to get all stressed up because I insisted to give him an advice. Which I don’t even know if I’m fit to give any.

The reason God gave us life was...

...not to waste it away and enjoy life to the fullest. Being materialistic and always think of the negative side of life certainly is not how we should appreciate what has been given to us. Why can’t we enjoy ourselves and make others happy, last? He ask. I said, “sounds selfish”. And yeah, I hate selfish people. Because I realised that I always put others 1st, and myself last. I’m used to please and make others happy and I hope for nothing in return. Just worthy companions that I can always rely on. Some might think that all the deeds that one has made is utterly useless since there are no good results that can be seen or achieved. Well, what more can you ask for when the sole purpose of doing the deed is just to get rewarded? Deeds are made to pay back for our wrongdoings and God may reward us with his blessings while we’re still alive or when we’ve stepped over to the other side.

That friend is down with an illness, that may have no cure. He always complains about how life is unfair. He said, he made all the deeds before he was sick and this is what he got. Totally unfair. Well, you did it for all the wrong reasons, my friend. You still have a life to live, you’re still able to breathe air and enjoy life. But that doesn’t mean you have all the rights the enjoy yourself and neglect your responsibility to God just because you’re sick. That doesn’t mean you should be selfish and not care of other people’s feelings. THAT certainly doesn’t mean you can whine about your weaknesses and do nothing to improve it.

When one gave up on life, he has lost his way and only he can save himself from being drowned.

,
Aezlika

Success

I have the will to close the Facebook, for tonight. I know, without it I can do my work even faster. No more distractions please. Not even from the blog or twitter. For tonight, then maybe I can finish 50% of my 1500 words essay.

God, please help me to be stronger and save me from the seduction of social networking website.

,
Aezlika

Changes

As for me, I cut my hair really short to feel better. About everything, basically. Some people go shopping to destress, but I cut my hair when I feel down. It's obvious I rarely feel disappointed with myself because I used to have long hair before chopping them off. Little change(s) you make to yourself can help boost your confidence. What's your booster?

p/s: The feeling of being a new person is always the best. It's like you've started with a new canvas to draw your paths of life.

Tolerate